Funeral of You, Death of Us

All the years,
All the memories made.
Where have they brought us?

Here.
To this place.
In this time.

This place...of neverending pain and undying love.
Looking back I am not at all sure how we arrived here.
I do know that it was never just one thing, one incident, one drama.
Just all the little moments, little annoyances, the little disagreements
That piled up, into this mess I don't think we can get over.

You made your choices.
I made my decisions.
We appear to be, at this point in time, destined to walk opposite roads.

I do not regret your choices or my decisions.
We took the right roads for us.
But the pain is still painful.

So here I stand, watching you.
I see you pursuing your dreams.
It makes me happy, to see you happy.
I also see you struggling though.
I see through your lies.
It makes me sad,
I fear...that your choices will lead to your funeral.

These choices of yours give you measures of happiness and brief glimpses of pleasure.
My decisions give me some as well.
The way that we started slipping apart...hurts.
All those years of memories are bittersweet now.
The taste of your betrayal lings on my tongue.

As I watch this death of us, I have no regrets.
We made our decisions & choices, we WILL live with them.
There is so many things I still have to tell you.
But I can't.
It has to all be okay.

Watching the funeral of you and the death of us,
I can feel only peace.
This is the way it has to be.

Chains

My back forced flat against the wall
My body sweats from the weight
I can feel the chains, all of them
Each named
Holding me back. Pinned tight against the chilly wall.

I cannot name them aloud yet. I have a block.
I must.
I haven't broken them yet.
Til I do - they hold me fast.
Even here, in my own mind.
In my music.

They are thick chains, wrapping their coils all through me.
Crippling me.

The pain.
The guilt.
The memories.
Are just a few,
that I must break to be free.
So I can be the person I must be.

Failure is never an option.

Stranger In The Street

I look into those eyes;
The eyes I used to lose my whole self in.
And I do not know them anymore,
The window to your soul has been closed to me.

I'm too tired and too busy to ask why anymore,
The tears I first cried when I learned this fact have dried.
That part of my heart, even my soul, that I swore would be yours forever
Even that, I am now able to fill with other things.
I've slowly learned to sleep again, sometimes dream of you still haunt my subconscious though.
I can now eat without my stomach revolting from the pain;
I am able to walk through the places we used to walk together.
And go through my life now without the blinding pain without you and the dark cloud of loneliness around me.

So now, I look into your eyes again;
And feel - nothing.
No more happiness, no more longing, no more pain.
It was good to see you again.
But now...you're a stranger on the street to me.

Even the memories are fading with Time.
As I look into those sea gray eyes;
All I see, is someone I'd like to get to know.